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Jesse and Lisa Harman

A hard patch.

01/22/2012

1 Comment

 
     As school has started back and we are back to the activities, it has been a little hard.  The boys at home are less motivated to get home schooling done.  In addition, by the time Julia gets home, any little thing that bothers John that Julia does tends to set him off which leads to teasing, yelling or hitting her.  Julia is also very quick to get John in trouble or report him or Ben to me for being naughty even if they are not.  This enrages the boys.  We also have caught Julia in a few lies when she is trying to "look good" and has done something we disapprove.  Furthermore, my stress has been higher now that we are back to tigher schedule and I have fewer breaks.  This stress has led to Jesse & I have being verbally tough on each other, hurting each other.  As a result, we feel like we are in a hard patch right now. 
    Someone at AWANA told John & Ben a scary story about ghosts, and now at bedtime, John has been really clinging and hysterically crying.  He wants to sleep in our room each night and will remain awake in his own bed until Jess & I get ready to go upstairs and he ends up coming up too and sleeping in the little toddler bed next to ours.  We have prayed over him, and with him, both by ourselves and with others.  It seems like it is getting slightly better, but could use more prayer.  Johns fear has also rubbed off on Ben.  These crying episodes are very trying on us
    I am recently also testing Caeli & John to learn about how they best learn....Auditory, Visual or Tactile/Kinesthetic.  John, as we learn, is the latter.  He needs a lot of "hands on" learning, which actually involves more planning on my part.  I am trying to figure out how to make adjustments in our home schooling day with out putting more pressure on myself.
    We still are praying that the attachment continues to deepen with Julia.  It is hard when the other 3, who already had relationship with each other, choose to leave her out while playing (which means Jess or I need to intervene).  Sometimes they need a break from her...as she is not as easy to relate.  She still has broken English and is sometimes it takes more effort with her.  It bothers Caeli that Julia is not more her own person.  Whatever Caeli does, Julia wants to do also.  If Caeli picks red, Julia wants red.  If Caeli picks purple, Julia wants purple, ect.  It is wearisome with Caeli.  Sometimes the kids are jealous of each other and the time spent with friends or the time spent with Jesse & I alone....we try to have "dates" with each one, but they come very sporadically.  
    So if you pray, please pray our dependence on the Lord and to recieve and give His grace to each other. And also pray that our relationships are more positive, with less negative: yelling and provoking.  Pray Julia is more herself (not what she thinks we want her to be in order to be accepted) and more open and vulnerable with us so we may attach to her better. And pray for Jesse & I to learn to love each other more deeply and when we argue to "fight fair"....which is the name of a book by Tim Downs that we recently got at the library.  Thanks for any prayers you can shoot up for us!!!!   Lisa 
     
 


Comments

Kelly
01/22/2012 20:05

Life can be so hard! Will be thinking of you and praying for you!

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    Jesse & Lisa Harman

    We are fellow Christians from Wisconsin committed to following the call of God on our lives.  We have fallen in love with a little 8 yr. old girl from Ukraine and see her as our daughter already, but the courts have yet to grant us this right.  We have 3 other little ones that we love like no other and who also love their new sister very much.  We all pray for her quick placement in our home. 

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